The Tantric Principle Read online

  She was in love with him.

  She was moving to Chicago.

  Arianna swallowed the words and deliberately slid back a few inches, letting her hand drop from his body. Grant seemed to sense her decision and allowed his gaze to cool, allowed her to separate from him. For now.

  But she knew it was a warning.

  The truth would be coming soon. He'd see to it. She would tell him soon, but for a little longer, she wanted to enjoy being with him without complications. Without decisions or regret.

  She just needed more time.

  "I better go. You have work to do." Grant rose and packed up the basket, kissed her good-bye and left. Arianna stared at the closed door for a long time before forcing herself back to work.

  There was going to be trouble.

  Arianna watched the young Missy with her lover and took a deep breath.

  Over the past week, she noticed Missy getting a little too attached to Grant. After their last argument, Arianna decided to let him work it out and not interfere. She trusted him and knew his intentions were honorable. She also trusted his business instincts and felt he would make the right decision.

  Except tonight was Tombstone time. High Noon. Arianna was about to stake her turf and Grant was going to have to deal with it. Their celebration dinner had been pushed back a few days due to another tight deadline. Grant had been completely supportive, so they decided to go to dinner tonight after class. She'd just joined the intermediate students and was feeling her way through the group dynamics, going deeper into her practice. Missy was one of the students. She had been deliberately cold toward Arianna, her gaze continuously roving her body as if comparing and judging her inferior. Missy was an excellent student and far in her practices. Her asanas were graceful to watch and she usually served as a model to the others.

  Because of her status, she spent more time with Grant than the others. She spoke with him in low, intimate whispers and always placed a hand on his arm. Or grabbed his hand when she laughed as if she had no idea she was doing it. She watched Missy go in and out of his private office as if she had a personal key, and Arianna knew Grant allowed it because he was training her to serve as a mentor to the others.

  But Arianna was going to kick her ass, so she would not be needed as a mentor.

  She watched her competition from under heavily lidded eyes. The studio was cleaned up and the students had been counseled.

  She respected Grant's decision to keep their relationship a secret, and she didn't want Missy to discover the truth. Suspecting was a whole different ball game from confirming, and Grant didn't need any conflict right now.

  The willowy blonde plastered herself to Grant's side as she listened to him speak. She wore a skimpy halter top that emphasized her heavy breasts, and her lycra pants left nothing to the imagination. She had pulled the clip out of her hair, and Arianna spotted heavy makeup on her face, not appropriate for a workout.

  Arianna shook her head. Grant was the only man to ever see her both vulnerable and unpolished. Stringy hair, wet from sweat. Make-up run off her face. Arms shaking with exertion and a trucker's mouth when she couldn't hold a pose. Sometimes tears when she held a posture long enough to break through some emotional barriers. Not to mention her trouble keeping up her pedicures, which were always exposed with everyone's feet bare in class. Yet, Missy, seemed polished and manicured and perfumed and. . . ready for action.

  Arianna smothered a laugh at the thought, then decided to break up the party.

  She reached the couple and enjoyed the spark of warmth that lit Grant's eyes when he spotted her. "Are you almost ready to go?" she asked casually.

  "Absolutely," he said. "Missy, I would dedicate more time to your meditation. You seem like you're ready for a breakthrough."

  "I am. I was hoping we could discuss a few things." Missy raised an eyebrow in her direction. "Would you mind if I stole Grant for a bit longer?" Grant opened his mouth but Arianna interrupted. "I'm sorry, Missy, we were going to catch a bite." She smiled in apology. "I'm starving from that workout. Can you catch up with him later?"

  Missy took a small side step until she was flush against Grant. "Oh, that's so nice you're getting something to eat. Can I join you? Would love to discuss the practices more, and maybe Arianna can learn a few more things. I know she's new." Silence descended.

  Arianna waited for Grant to make a decision. A Mexican stand off had officially been called. If Missy joined them, it would solidify their relationship as friends, and there would be no romantic dinner. But if he did say something, Missy would know the truth and expose their secret.

  Missy looked up at Grant with expectation. Arianna waited patiently for her lover to choose.

  Grant smiled warmly at Missy. A mentor, a teacher, a friend. Then spoke. "I'm sorry, Missy, I'm taking Arianna out to dinner to celebrate something very special. I made reservations so we won't be able to have you join us tonight." He squeezed her hand in reassurance. "But I'll see you tomorrow during morning class and we'll have plenty of time to discuss it." Without hesitation, Grant took Missy's elbow and led her to the door. "Have a great night." The blonde literally gaped at the obvious dismissal, and then Arianna spotted a disturbing mix of envy and resolve. She tossed her hair, said something else to Grant, and disappeared.

  "Ready?" he asked."Do you want to use the bathroom to change first or shall I?" She stared at him and realized he had chosen her.

  "You told her."

  He waved his hand in dismissal and raked his hair back from his forehead. "Yeah, I thought it was time. She suspected anyway."

  "What if she tells the other students?" Arianna pressed. "I don't think she was too happy knowing you were dating me."

  Grant nodded. "I know. I guess she's going to have to get over it and so will the other students. I'm done hiding you."

  Her heart bloomed in full expansion and made a mockery out of the Grinch. Her skin felt suddenly too tight for her body. He pretended to be casual. She knew differently. She knew it took everything Grant had to trust her and their relationship, to let the truth out. Then Arianna realized she had to tell him her own truth. Tonight. She had to tell him she was leaving.

  But not now.

  Arianna closed the distance between them with a leap, and then she was in his arms. He murmured low and caught her hard as she launched herself through the air. She stabbed all ten fingers into his long hair and pulled his mouth down on hers. His arms snagged around her waist and held her tight as her tongue thrust between his lips and she took him on a wild ride, her fingers pushing up his shirt to caress all those carved muscles in his chest, his arms, his back.

  She squeezed his buttocks and with one hard tug, his pants came down with his underwear, exposing his arousal to her hungry hands and travelling fingers.

  He managed to do the same to her in a few second and then they were both naked. "No dinner?" he gasped, lifting her up so his cock pressed against her wet opening.

  "Screw dinner."

  His mouth came down and laved her breasts, pulled her nipple between his teeth and sucked. She groaned and urged him to go faster, wanting him to lose the fragile thread of his control when he loved her, wanting him to stop holding back. Arianna grasped him between her fingers and worked him up and down, sliding her thumb over his sensitive tip, guiding his length between her thighs.

  "Yes, yes, yes," she chanted, thrusting her hips upward, ready to claim him and both explode over the edge.

  "You want this?" he asked, his cock moving into her, sliding inch by precious inch.

  Arianna punished him with her fingernails and her teeth. She bit his earlobe, raked the skin over his back, and urged him to come inside her. She wanted, no, needed, him to surrender to her tonight.

  "If you want it, tell me. Tell me everything." His voice was a low growl as he massaged her breasts and teased her clit with the hot flesh of his arousal, getting her so close yet not close enough.

  "Put your cock inside me!" she demanded, opening he
r legs wider, her back pressed against the hard wall, willing him to do it, just do it.

  "Not until you come for me. Come. Now. Now!" He grasped her hips, positioned her, and slammed his cock into her wet opening.

  Arianna came hard in a rush of wetness, her voice tearing on a scream that cut through the studio. But he wasn't done, he thrust in and out of her, again and again, lifting her up and up until the second orgasm ripped through her and then she collapsed against the wall, falling against his hot, damp skin, his erection still pulsing inside of her with hot demand. She groaned and admitted defeat again. He didn't come inside of her. Not until it was on his terms.

  The thought worried at her like a mouse with a piece of string, but then he was easing back and forth over her sensitive, clit, slowly, so slowly she didn't even realize he was moving until the tension built again in delicious intervals, the friction of his cock against the swollen nub so outrageously pleasurable, tears burned her eyes. She fought the fall, not wanting to have another orgasm, and she cursed him, but he just laughed and held her still, working himself inside of her again and again until she came, her flesh pulsing almost painfully from the release.

  This time he let her slide down to the floor, still inside of her. Only then did the full emotions hit like a hurtling freight train, and tears leaked from her lids as she surrendered to the final collapse of all of her clever ideas of love and distance and realized Grant Madison had changed her life and she would never be the same.

  Grant held her close, stroking back silky strands of her hair from her face as she cried.

  The tears dropped slowly on his bare chest and a piece of him broke loose inside of him. Her vulnerability and openness tore him apart. He tried to release his sudden tension as he realized she needed to tell him something, something he wasn't going to want to hear. Grant calmed his mind by breathing slowly and waited for her to speak.

  "The promotion." She paused. "I have to leave. I have to move to Chicago by the end of the month."

  The breath whooshed back out of his chest and he sought to find a grip as he sorted through the complications. "OK. For how long?"

  "If I succeed? Probably permanently. If I fail? They'll give me two years to make a go of it."

  He battled his sudden weakness to beg her to stay. Grant reached down deep and vowed he'd never ask her to give up the promotion for him. This was her dream, as the creation of his school was his. He understood the passion of loving what he did, the pull of the work as a constant tease to his consciousness, the pleasure of completing a day with students. He fell into bed at night and felt full in a way that had nothing to do with food. Arianna was a talented woman who was going to make partner. She'd run the Chicago office and make a name for herself, far away from her Iowa origins. He loved her even more for it, understood her like he had no other woman. In that moment, he decided to let her go.

  And never tell her about his true feelings.

  His tone contradicted his slowly crumbling heart. "Then we have a month together and we won't lose a moment."

  Arianna stiffened. Her words were hesitant. "Do you want to do the long distance thing?

  Grant, I can't imagine walking away from you. I--"

  He stopped her by smothering his mouth over hers. If she said the words he wanted to hear, he'd fall apart. She would stay, and they'd never know what she could have been. Her lips softened, became pliant beneath his until she quieted.

  "I don't want to lose you, either. But you're moving because this promotion is what you've been waiting for. I'm so damn proud of you, Arianna. You go to Chicago and kick some ass. But I think we need a clean break. You don't need the distractions of a long distance relationship, and I don't know if I can handle it."

  The starkness of his words took her breath away, but Arianna fought through the fog of pain and swore she'd never ask him to wait for her. If he wanted a clean break, she'd honor his wishes. She wouldn't tell him she was madly in love with him. She wouldn't confess having him in her life may be more important than the promotion of her dreams.

  Because he didn't want her.

  At least, not enough to ask her to stay. Or to remain in the relationship.

  Arianna felt the tears dry up and leave her slightly cold. He felt the chill in her skin and rubbed his hands briskly over her pebbled flesh.

  "Come on, it's getting late. Let me take you to dinner and we'll talk more." She allowed him to help her up and get dressed. She allowed him to take her to dinner and drink wine in the candlelight of the expensive French restaurant. She enjoyed the crisp white linens, the rich sauces and delicate fish. They toasted to her success and talked. But not about the promotion or the unspoken questions they both wanted to ask.

  And didn't.

  Chapter Seven

  Arianna laughed at her team members as they hummed Chicago around the conference table. She looked down at the farewell cake with a Rosebud garter belt discreetly tattooed around the edge. "Funny, guys, real funny. At least you remembered to make it chocolate." She cut large pieces of the sugary treat and passed them around. Conversation revolved around work accounts, football season, and raunchy jokes. Tim handed her a glass of champagne from a cheap plastic glass. "Drink up, boss. You won't get much free time once you hit Chicago."

  "Hmm, I'm already burning the hours on my smart phone and videoconferencing to get a leg up."

  "How's yoga guy?"

  She shot him a glare. "Good."

  "Hmmm."

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  Tim threw up his hands in defense. "Nothing, just wondering. Are you guys gonna do the long distance thing?"

  The wound throbbed, but she forked up a piece of cake and soothed it. "Nope. We're making a clean break."

  Tim brightened. "I think that's for the best."

  She stared at him with suspicion. "You've never been so interested in my love life before, Tim. What's up?"

  He shrugged. "I was worried about you. Sanders picked you for one reason. I didn't want you to make the wrong decision."

  Unease settled low in her gut. Arianna didn't want to ask the question, but like a train wreck unfolding before her gaze, she stepped on the track. "What are you talking about? What reason?"

  "Come on, Arianna, it's no secret you practically live, eat and breathe this job. You've slept on the conference room couch to meet a deadline. Sanders had a few people to pick from, but they all had families or girlfriends. No one had the killer instinct to give everything over to the job. But you did."

  The truth sunk in slowly but steadily, just like the Titanic. "He picked me because I had no other commitments? That was the deciding factor?" Tim laughed, obviously not aware of her distress. "Crap, Arianna, it was your work, too.

  You've got the talent. But Sanders needs someone with drive who will make G&B their life. You fit the bill perfectly. That's why I got nervous when you started spending so much time with yoga guy. Hell, a few nights during the week you actually left the office on time. The guy even came to visit the office. That never happened before, so I thought you could be thinking about doing something stupid."

  "Like?"

  "Like giving up the promotion for him. But you're as smart as I always knew you were.

  You kicked him to the curb and now the possibilities are endless. Sanders has his eye on you for partner. Just make sure you bring me with you. Don't forget me on the climb to the top." Someone shouted his name and he turned from her. Arianna watched the other team members eat cake and laugh and drink champagne. The truth struck hard and deep while she watched the bubbles lie flat in her glass.

  Her talent wasn't the only thing that got her this promotion.

  Seems her lack of anything else in life was a primary factor to reach the pinnacle of success. The knowledge killed something deep inside of her. She felt the shift, but refused to analyze it any further.

  She raised her glass and drank.

  Arianna walked into the studio. Sunlight streamed through the open windows and
soaked the wood to a golden gleam. People mingled in groups along tables which held cage after cage of dogs and cats. Both human and canine voices rang through the air in the early morning hours.

  The Yoga for Rescue Animals Walkathon was in full swing.

  Arianna made her way through the vast crowds to her assigned pet and spoke with the shelter's representative. She leaned over to peek in and her gaze clashed with a pair of brown soulful eyes surrounded by a mat of white fur. Those eyes spoke to Arianna immediately. They were eyes that held a rough past. Eyes that gleamed with need and a tiny bit of despair. Eyes that didn't want to give up.

  She took a deep breath and reached in.

  "Her name is Cloud," the representative told her. Arianna nodded and felt her throat tighten as her hands clasped warm, soft fur. "She's very gentle so you don't have to worry. She needs a lot of TLC since her ordeal, so if you want to cuddle her, walk her, and then feed her we'd appreciate it." The rep smiled cheerfully. "Of course, we're hoping you fall in love and adopt her."

  Arianna lowered her head and placed a kiss on the top of Cloud's furry head. She felt the dog stiffen, then snuggle into her with a sigh of relief. She walked with her bundle out the studio door and onto the grounds.

  Students milled around with their dogs in groups, laughing and sharing pet stories.

  Leashes and cages and bowls and toys scattered the once pristine lawn. A lively game of catch with a drippy tennis ball took place across the field. Arianna settled her back against an old oak tree and let Cloud get her bearings. Her gaze scanned her surroundings, but she didn't see Grant.

  She figured he'd be crazed at this point, trying to organize both students and shelter representatives, along with the huge crowd of onlookers.

  Arianna tried to interest her adoptee with a toy bone and a squeaky toy. Both were ignored for the comfort of her lap. Cloud settled herself comfortably in the warm notch between her legs. Her head rested on her thigh with sheer canine delight. With a soft mutter of pleasure, she closed her eyes and took a nap in the morning sun. With a deep sense of peace, Arianna leaned her head against the trunk and let herself nap with her temporary dog.