Searching for Disaster Page 4

  But now, after therapy, Gen's words filled her with gratitude. She was lucky to have a sister who cared so much. "Ah crap, don't make me cry!"

  Gen sniffed. "Sorry. Just please promise you'll do it? Pretty please with sugar on top?"

  She swallowed back the lump in her throat. "And cherries, too?"

  "Yes."

  "I'll do it."

  Gen bounced in her seat with excitement. "Thank you! Do you want to do it right now? I can help you."

  Izzy laughed and threw up her hands. "No; right now I'm tired and want to watch my movie and crash. I'll read it this week. I don't know when I'll do it but I promise I will."

  "Good enough for me." Gen got up, gave her a quick hug, and headed out. "You'll be at Mom's house for Sunday dinner, right?"

  "I'll be there. Bye." She blew kisses at her sister and locked the door behind her.

  Izzy trudged back to the kitchen, put the plates in the sink, and picked up the book. Her fingers tingled slightly. She brought the book back to the couch, sat down, and began to read.

  MIDNIGHT.

  Izzy stared at the ceiling. The witching hour. Or was that 3 a.m.? Did it even matter? She'd been tossing and turning for hours, unable to get the book out of her head. It was ridiculous and stupid. Yet it had given her an opportunity to really think about what type of man she'd not only want in her life but actually need.

  The act of writing down intentions was powerful. She'd learned that from therapy and always kept a journal. But she'd never stopped long enough to analyze what she craved in a healthy relationship. It had always been about excitement and great sex and moving on.

  Except that one night.

  She pushed it to the back of her mind, got up, and walked into the kitchen. The book lay on the table. She turned on the light, grabbed her journal and pen, and began to write.

  Her spirit soared a bit higher when she finished and read over the list. Yes. It seemed . . . right. Maybe this was enough for now--to actually know what traits to seek out. But she'd promised Gen she'd do the entire thing. She'd broken enough promises in her lifetime and had sworn to never do it again.

  She read the directions carefully. Make two lists. Burn one and recite the prayer to Earth Mother. Put the other one under her mattress. That didn't seem so complicated. Still, she felt completely ridiculous doing a love spell for some random man out there.

  With a sigh, she copied the list onto another sheet of paper. Fishing around the cabinets, she took out a pot, grabbed her lighter, and opened the book to the right page. Saying a quick apology to her mother, she recited the prayer to Earth Mother and put the flame to the paper, dropping it into the pot and watching it burn.

  Done.

  Cleaning up the mess, she took the other sheet of paper and stuck it under her mattress. The book went onto her shelf, and she crawled back under the covers.

  She wondered if Earth Mother held the power to send her Chris Hemsworth. Maybe that would finally banish Liam from her mind.

  Then she fell straight into sleep.

  chapter three

  DEVINE STOPPED OUTSIDE the door. The silver-and-purple scrawl with sparkling white lights urged customers to step in. Too bad his feet felt like wet bricks stuck to the cement.

  "It won't be bad," Stone said.

  "You said I wouldn't have to go through this crap. You promised Arilyn would let me slide through without a hitch. You vowed you could handle her."

  Stone sighed and rubbed his head. "I was wrong, okay? She's very stubborn when it comes to this love-match stuff. Said you had to have at least one introductory session and you needed to come in person to fill out the forms and talk with Kate. Hey, at least I got you out of makeover stuff with Kennedy!"

  Devine turned to walk away, but Stone grabbed his arm, opened the door, and pushed him inside.

  The office was cheery and welcoming, with more purple-and-silver decor. The waiting room had purple comfy couches, and more lights were strung around the walls with interesting artwork scattered about. The scent of vanilla hung in the air.

  The front desk was empty.

  "They're closed. Let's go."

  "Don't be a pussy," Stone hissed. "She'll be right back. Here, I got a better way." He raised his voice. "Hey, Arilyn, are you back there? I got Devine!"

  Devine closed his eyes. So fucking embarrassing.

  Heels clicked in the hallway, and Arilyn came walking out with Pinky tucked under her arm. The moment the Chihuahua saw Stone, she began wriggling frantically. Stone met her halfway with his arms out. "There's my girl."

  Arilyn handed over the pup, shaking her head as she watched Stone coo over her. "I thought I was your girl."

  "You're both my girls. I'll show you my appreciation later."

  "You better. Hi, Devine. How are you?"

  "Good. Hey, I was thinking this isn't such a hot idea. We just came by to get Pinky for our afternoon run." Pinky had become a mascot at the police station and loved to ride in the squad car. With her crazy tufts of hair sticking up from her head, and ratlike face, he'd been afraid she'd be bait instead of a companion. But Devine had gotten just as attached to her as Stone and even began thinking about getting his own dog. Maybe that would help with this restlessness.

  Stone snorted. "Ignore him. He's here to get the paperwork and sign up. He's ready."

  Arilyn tilted her head, considering him with a probing green gaze. She had a stillness and grace to her that managed to completely balance Stone's roughness, making them an ideal match. "I know this is a big step, but you've already been out there, Devine. All we want to do is narrow the field to see if we can find a woman who fits you, but we can't do our job unless you sit down with Kate for an interview."

  Devine shifted his weight. He could manage an interview. Maybe this wouldn't be as stressful as hooking up at the bar, or in line at the bakery, or in the secondhand bookstore. God knows he was running out of women in his demographic. "Okay. Maybe I'll try it."

  Arilyn smiled. "Good. I'm going to give you some paperwork and schedule you a session with Kate."

  The phones began ringing nonstop and Stone looked around. "Is Izzy here today?"

  "She's just in the back to get some files."

  "I'm here!" a husky voice called out. "Sorry, almost drowned in the back room. We really need to organize and clean that up, Arilyn. Maybe I can work on the weekend?"

  "You work too much already."

  "I don't mind. Hi, Stone, how are you?"

  "Good. Hey, Izzy, I don't think you met my partner yet. He's been away on vacay. This is Devine."

  Slowly, Devine turned his head and met her gaze.

  The mess of files dropped from her fingers and hit the floor.

  Isabella.

  His body seemed to shut down organ by organ. Stillness fell over him as he gazed at the woman who had been haunting his dreams for the past six years. His one-night stand that had been so much more.

  She was beautiful.

  Her hair now held gorgeous, wild curls in a rich, deep brown. No more purple streaks. Those navy-blue eyes held a depth that had been missing before. A touch of regret and pain, but now there was a steely resolve, also shown in the tilt of her chin and the way she carried herself. Her petite frame had once been lean and sharp. Now she had gorgeous, full curves that made a man ache to touch her, be cradled within her softness. She wore flowy black pants that emphasized the flare of her hips, and a red T-shirt with a sequined heart. Just the hint of a thorny rose on her upper right breast peeked out, teasing him. Words stuck in his throat. He ached to cross the room and hold her. How was it possible that after all these years the connection still flamed and burned between them?

  "Liam." The whisper of his name floated across the room. Her painted apple-red lips were full and ripe.

  "'Liam'?" Stone looked back and forth between them, confusion evident. "Have you met before?"

  They remained locked in place, staring at each other with hungry eyes. "Yes. She knew me as Liam." When he
enrolled in the academy, everyone began calling him Devine and it had stuck. "We met a long time ago."

  He sensed Arilyn's fascination, but he still couldn't seem to speak anything intelligent. As if Pinky sensed the growing tension, she whined softly. Izzy seemed to jolt out of her spell, shaking her head as if to clear it. "I'm sorry; it was just a shock seeing you again. You look . . . well." She seemed to notice she had dropped the papers and scrambled to pick them back up.

  "So do you."

  She stood up again. More staring. Finally, Stone interrupted. "This is the weirdest meet I've witnessed in a long time. We have to get to our shift. Can you get Devine his papers, sweetheart?"

  "Papers?" Izzy blurted out.

  "Yes; we're signing Officer Devine up for Kinnections. Can you get me one of those packets, Izzy?"

  "You're not married?" she asked.

  He wondered if she'd taste the same. Whiskey hot and sugary sweet. Like maple syrup with a touch of bourbon. Intoxicating. "No. Are you?"

  "No." She shook her head a second time, then dove for the desk, pulling out a bunch of stapled pieces of paper and handing them to Arilyn. "Here you go. That's the intake packet."

  "Thanks," Arilyn said, handing him the papers. "Fill these out and I'll get you an appointment with Kate next week."

  He wished Izzy had handed him the papers. He would've been able to sneak in a touch and see if her skin was still super soft.

  Stone kissed Arilyn and headed out with Pinky in his arms. "Bye, Izzy. Come on, team--let's catch some criminals."

  He didn't want to go, and thought of what type of excuse he could use for lingering. But his brain had frozen up, so he just nodded like an idiot and followed his partner out the door.

  Isabella was here.

  LIAM WAS HERE.

  A deep trembling shuddered through her body. Knees wobbling, she dropped into the chair behind her desk and tried to gain control. How was this possible? Six years. He looked the same, yet different. His hair was shorter, but the white-gold-streaked strands still reminded her of old Hollywood. Those thickly lashed, pale-blue eyes still stunned, but there were new lines carved in his face, adding a sexy roughness to his classical features. But his body . . .

  Dear God, he filled out a cop uniform like a female fantasy on steroids. The dark blue fit him like a custom suit, emphasizing broad chest muscles and powerful thighs. When she'd first walked in, her gaze had been tattooed to his ass, even more droolworthy with the addition of a large leather belt with various items, including a holstered gun. His short-sleeve uniform revealed golden hair scattered down the tanned skin of his forearms. His shoes were polished to a high sheen, but it was the way he stood there, feet braced apart, hands propped on hips, as if he were about to arrest her and then do bad, naughty things to her body.

  Her skin flushed at the image, and she gulped for air.

  The memory of that night still haunted her. Had she ever experienced such a sensual, intimate encounter? Liam allowed her to connect on a level she never knew existed, and it changed her forever.

  It was also the night she'd done the cocaine, and the start of the real downward slide her life became. It had made her feel like a goddess and indestructible. The next morning when she crashed, she got more. Before, she'd always kept a delicate balance, making sure she never took cocaine two days in a row. Suddenly, weed wasn't good enough anymore, and she craved another hit of coke. She needed bigger and better and stronger. She needed to forget Liam walking away from her in disgust.

  So she did. And spent the next years spiraling toward disaster.

  Despair hit. Had he pitied her? Regretted even sleeping with her? Her memories of him were sacred--a beautiful thing to pull out, dust off, and savor. But seeing him again ruined it all, because he'd been right. Drugs had ruined her, and he had been the one to see her take the first terrible step.

  Her skin burned with humiliation.

  "Izzy?"

  She looked up at Arilyn. Her friend's face held a gentleness that soothed. "Were you two involved before?"

  Slowly, she nodded. She'd never told anyone about Liam or that night. Not even Raven. But now she found the words spilling out. "We had a one-night stand. He was entering the police academy and asked me to see him again. I know we barely knew each other, but I said yes. He was different. There was a powerful connection."

  Arilyn smiled. "Oh, do I know about those. Feeling close to another person can be the most wonderful thing in the world. Also the scariest."

  "It was. And then I blew it."

  "We've all made those mistakes. You were also very young."

  "It was more than that," she whispered. "I chose drugs. I needed them more than him."

  Arilyn squeezed her shoulder. "Yes. Sometimes we choose wrong. And then sometimes we get a second chance."

  Izzy straightened up. Resolve leaked into her voice. "No. Liam and I were never meant to be together. He's a very different person than I am. I think Kinnections will help him find the perfect woman. Someone who's good."

  "You're good, Izzy."

  She forced a smile. "I know. But not for him."

  The phone saved her from talking further. Arilyn frowned but slowly walked away.

  He might be Stone's partner, but she didn't have to deal with him. He'd keep his distance, and she'd keep hers. She rarely had one-on-one meetings with clients, and maybe she'd explain to Kate it would be better for both of them if they stayed apart. Verily was a big town, and she was positive they wouldn't run into each other.

  Izzy ignored the touch of sadness and threw herself into her work.

  chapter four

  TWO DAYS LATER, Devine sat in the car and stared at the house.

  This was crazy. He had no right to knock on her door and demand to talk to her. After all, they'd only shared a night of sex. Great sex. Sex that wrecked him and made him compare her to every other woman he'd slept with since. Still, it was unbelievable she would've remembered him so clearly the moment their gazes met. Could this be considered stalking? Harassment?

  His damn palms were sweating.

  He raked them down his jeans. The real problem was it was more than sex. He'd thought of her constantly over these past six years, her beautiful face haunting him in his dreams. How many times had he tortured himself about his decision to leave? If he would've stayed, could he have convinced her not to take the drugs? Would things have ended differently?

  He didn't know. But now she was here in Verily, back in his life, and there was no way he'd miss this opportunity for a second chance.

  It had been easy to find out where she lived. Stone had offered the information that she'd taken up residence in the bungalow when Arilyn moved in with Stone. He hadn't meant to drive over. Coming home from the pool hall, he just kind of found himself here and decided to park and think a bit.

  In front of her place.

  The light was still on, and the blinking colors told him she was watching television. Women hated being interrupted during their evening routine. If he knocked, she probably wouldn't even open the door. This was stupid.

  He got out of the car.

  He couldn't knock.

  Cursing under his breath, he paced back and forth on her front porch, trying to psych himself up. Okay, so maybe she remembered him, but it didn't mean she'd been dreaming of him all these damn years. He was about to make a complete ass out of himself. Stone would eventually hear about it and torture him. But if he didn't talk to her, he'd regret it. If he was really going to try to find a woman through Kinnections, he needed to flush Isabella out of his system for good.

  Right?

  Devine didn't expect her to actually open the door to his knock. He waited for a while, shifting his feet, feeling like the schmuck he was for the slim opportunity she'd want to talk to him, too.

  The door opened.

  She wore gray sweatpants and an old, worn-out gray T-shirt. The soft, washed cotton molded to every curve. Her curly hair was pinned up on her head, but unruly st
rands escaped from every direction. No makeup. Bare feet. Toes painted purple.

  His dick sprang to life and strangled within his jeans. The sizzle was immediate and just as intense as it was six years ago. Her dark-blue eyes widened to the size of saucers as she stared at him.

  "What are you doing here?"

  Good question. She'd always been direct. He cleared his throat. "I wanted to talk."

  She blinked. "About what?"

  A strangled laugh escaped his lips. His humiliation grew. "About us."

  "There is no us."

  "Isabella, can you please let me in just for a minute? Please?"

  A frown creased her brow. She waited a few long moments, and Devine figured he'd be thrown off her porch to do a walk of shame minus the sex. Finally, she motioned him in with a jerk of her hand. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him.

  She crossed her arms in front of her chest as if to protect herself. That hidden touch of vulnerability squeezed his heart. What was it about this woman that fascinated him? "I'm sorry I barged in on you like this. I just wanted to talk."

  She shook her head. "About what? We slept together six years ago. I'm sure this stuff happens now and then. Just because you're Stone's partner doesn't mean we can't keep our distance."

  For one moment, he wondered if he should just walk out the door. Maybe this had been a terrible idea and she really didn't want to see him again. But hell if he'd back off now when he needed to find his own answers. His frown matched hers. "Don't want to keep my distance. I've thought about you these past years. How are you doing?"

  Ice chilled her eyes. He knew he had made a mistake from the way she squeezed herself tighter as if to ward off an attack. "Oh, I get it," she said softly. "You want to confirm all of your ideas about me came true. You want to know you made the right decision by walking away from me."

  "Isabella--"

  "No, I understand why you came here. Let me give you the short version. I took the coke after you left. Then I took more the next day. This continued with greater frequency, which you don't need to know, until I found myself without family, friends, or an ability to live. I finally checked into rehab, did my work, and now I'm clean and sober." She smiled tightly. "So you see, Liam, you were right about everything. Now that we've strolled down memory lane, I'd like you to leave."