Searching for Disaster Read online

  Shame flooded her. He'd been fighting to keep drugs off the street and she'd been a classic junkie. They were from two different worlds.

  "Don't."

  Izzy startled at the whiplash of his voice. "What?"

  His gaze burned into hers. "You had a past. You've suffered for it. You're clean now and doing everything you can to stay that way one day at a time. Don't use it as an excuse to push me away."

  She almost finished the session. His body heat practically pulled her in, tempting her to close the distance, slide onto his lap, and thrust her fingers into his glorious hair. Kiss his lips and savor the intoxicating taste of cinnamon and hot need. His words threw her off, but underneath was a deeper truth that told her he believed what he'd spoken. He didn't seem to judge or blame her for that night. For choosing the drugs.

  But she could never forget.

  "Maybe we should take a break," she managed huskily.

  He leaned back in the chair, relaxing again. "No need. What else do you need to know?"

  Relief loosened her muscles. Question three was easy. "Favorite color?"

  He frowned and looked uncomfortable. "I don't want to answer that."

  "Why? It's the easiest question on the form."

  "I pass."

  Oh, this was too intriguing. "You're refusing to tell me your favorite color? Really?"

  He blew out an annoyed breath. "Fine. But remember, this stuff is confidential."

  "Of course."

  "Chartreuse. I like chartreuse." His ears turned a tinge of red, and Izzy was struck by the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

  She burst into laughter.

  "See? That's why I didn't tell you." But his face had softened, and pleasure shone from his eyes. "God, you're so damn beautiful when you laugh."

  Her heart thundered and her palms sweat, and in that moment, she didn't know if she could resist him.

  The door flew open.

  "I'm here! I'm so sorry, Devine. I hope Izzy was able to make you comfortable while you were waiting."

  His gaze never broke from Izzy's. "She took good care of me."

  "Excellent." Kate smiled. "Thank you so much, Izzy."

  "You're welcome." She stood up on shaky legs and handed her the file. "I made certain notes so you can take it from here. Good to see you, Devine."

  His last name stumbled over her tongue, sounding strange. He frowned. "Liam," he said brusquely. "Call me Liam."

  She nodded and fled.

  Back at the safety of her desk, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, finding her center. It was done. She'd proved she was capable to Kate, and hopefully she wouldn't have to see Liam again. He'd be put through a series of social events or his profile would be run through their matching system to begin setting up dates. He'd find the right one through Kinnections. She knew it.

  Izzy focused on work, trying not to check the time to see how long they'd been in there, when Kate finally walked out. Kate's voice rose in the background. "It was good seeing you, Devine. I have the information I need, and I'll be in touch to let you know if, well, if your certain requirements have been met."

  "I appreciate it."

  Izzy was staring at the computer but felt the exact moment he stood by her desk. His body heat practically lashed at her, urging her to look at him. "Thanks for your time, Isabella."

  She shivered but forced herself to meet his gaze. "You're welcome," she said. "I'm sure you'll be very satisfied with Kinnections."

  "I'm sure I will be."

  The statement sounded like a threat. Kate moved toward them with a thoughtful look, handing Izzy some papers. "Can you file these for me, please?" Kate stood next to Devine and patted him on the shoulder. "Tell Stone I said hello."

  "Will do."

  Izzy reached over to grab the files from Kate's hand, their fingers brushing.

  In a flash, Kate stumbled back with a shocked look on her face, twisted away, and crashed to the floor.

  Izzy jumped up and Liam knelt down to reach for Kate's hand. "Kate, are you okay?"

  Kate threw her hands up in a frantic gesture and jumped to her feet. "Fine! I'm sorry; I j-j-j-just turned wrong and f-f-f-fell."

  "Are you sure?" Izzy asked, trying to approach her.

  Her boss glanced back and forth between Izzy and Liam, taking another step back. "Just embarrassed! Really, I'm fine. Umm, bye, Devine."

  Her pointed dismissal puzzled Izzy, but Devine just nodded and headed out. "Thanks again, ladies."

  He shut the door and the bell overhead tinkled merrily.

  Kate stared at his retreating back, cradling her hand as if it were injured. Her face reflected an odd wonder. "You're freaking me out," Izzy said. "Are you sure you're not hurt?"

  "Yes, I'm fine. I apologize. I need to talk to you about something important."

  "Sure. Tell me what you need."

  "I had a very interesting exchange with Devine."

  Izzy frowned. "He wasn't happy with the intake I did?"

  "Oh, no, nothing like that. Quite the opposite. It seems you charmed him so completely, he decided he doesn't want to join Kinnections until one of his requests is met."

  "What request?"

  Kate tapped her finger against her lips, pausing for a long moment. A sense of premonition crashed over Izzy, telling her something was about to change. "He said he can't move on with a clear heart until he takes you to dinner."

  Her mouth dropped open. "What?"

  "Now, normally I wouldn't even consider such a request. But he explained how he thinks about you a lot and wants the opportunity to have some time with you so he can begin his journey for love with a clear-minded focus. Seems he believes one dinner date will give him the time to settle some unresolved feelings toward you. I had no idea you both had met before, Izzy."

  She tried to yell but a tiny squeak escaped her lips. She tried again. "That's ridiculous! We had a brief encounter six years ago and haven't seen each other since. I knew him as Liam, not Devine, so I never made the connection. I was going to tell you, Kate, but I felt like I could handle it."

  "You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry I put you in that position. And I'm certainly not going to force you to go to dinner with the man if you're not interested." She narrowed her gaze thoughtfully. "Are you interested?"

  Izzy groaned and rubbed her temples. "It doesn't matter if I'm interested. We're not meant for each other."

  "You sure?"

  "Positive. We're two very different people."

  "I thought the same exact thing about Slade and me. Until we got to know each other better and realized we were the perfect match."

  "I'm not you."

  Kate's voice softened. "No, you're not. You have your own journey to complete. Why don't you take some time to think about it? It's just dinner. If you could both close some of those open doors haunting you, maybe this is a good thing."

  In that moment, Izzy realized Kate wanted her to go. There was an odd urging in her eyes, as if she was trying to relate how important it was for Izzy to confront her past. If she did this, Liam might realize how they could never work, and embrace what Kate could do for him at Kinnections. Was she being selfish by not agreeing to have a simple dinner?

  Nothing was simple, especially a dinner. She'd meant it when she said that to him, because the dynamics between a man and a woman were always complicated.

  But she could keep it simple. If she focused and concentrated on proving her point, maybe she could find her own peace.

  "Just think about it, Izzy. I have to do some work before my next appointment. Will you be okay?"

  She smiled. "Yes, thanks. I'll think about it."

  Kate walked down the hall, leaving Izzy to her thoughts and the haunting image of Liam's pale-blue eyes.

  chapter six

  SHE'D MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.

  Izzy paced back and forth and wondered if it was too late to cancel. She tried meeting him at the restaurant, but Liam was insistent that he pick her up. Her original pla
n was to wear something casual and not think too much about it.

  Four hours later, every piece of clothing and all shoes had been thrown around her bedroom in a panic. She used to be trendy. Her wardrobe reflected a cool free spirit who owned her sexuality. A bit of a badass, she liked showing off her tats and her piercings and displaying her body.

  Now most of the stuff was yoga pants, comfortable T-shirts, and flats. She'd removed all of her piercings a while ago. Her feet practically curled up to try to hide when she stuffed them into a pair of her old stilettos. When had this happened to her? How had she become such a drab woman?

  Yes, her recovery had taken long, hard work and she'd needed to make changes. But was this going too far? Had she lost some of her true essence in her fear to never relapse?

  She'd finally settled on sleek black pants tailored to accent all her curves. The violet shirt was an upscale halter top with a sheer back and a crisscross of lace in the front. It was sexy but tasteful. She left her hair loose, donning silver chandelier earrings, lots of bangles that clinked when she moved, and a chain-link ankle bracelet with a small silver skull. Her black platforms were high but had a solid blocked heel. She'd kept her purple polish on her finger-and toenails, and used glittery purple eye shadow to emphasize her cat-eye liner.

  She was ready.

  But she wanted to cancel. Why oh why had she agreed to this?

  The bell rang.

  Cursing under her breath, she threw back her shoulders, marched to the door, and flung it open.

  Blinked. Oh my. She was in trouble.

  Liam Devine was divine.

  He wore a suit. The black material clung to all the right places, emphasizing the breadth of his shoulders, the bulge of his biceps, the lean length of his legs. His dress shirt was a gray pinstripe, opened at the neck for a more casual look. The fact he wasn't wearing a tie was dead sexy, making her imagine how easy it would be to pull those buttons open and feast. Her gaze fastened on the strip of skin covered in golden hair her hands ached to reach out and touch. His halo-like hair gleamed even in the dim light, and his square jaw was cleanly shaven. Some delicious woodsy cologne drifted to her nostrils and made her want to paw at the ground like a bitch in heat.

  His voice came out in a low growl. "You look edible. Amazing. I'm a grown man and feel like I'm picking up my date for the prom."

  She laughed, the tension easing away. "Me, too. Thanks. You look . . . really good."

  "Thanks." He offered his hand in an old-fashioned gesture. She took it. "Our carriage awaits."

  "It's not the squad car, is it?"

  "Why? You got some cop fantasy I can help you out with?"

  His wicked humor was unexpected but he made her laugh again. "I always wanted to turn on the flashing lights."

  "That's an easy fantasy to fulfill. I was hoping for something more interesting."

  "Not gonna happen."

  "A man's gotta try." He opened the door to a white Ford Explorer. She slid in and smiled at the clean-car smell. Obviously, he kept his vehicle spotless, giving her an indication he cared for his belongings. He got in, started the car, and pulled away from the curb.

  "Where are we going?"

  "Though I love Cosmos and Mugs, I thought we'd try that new sushi place. Unless you don't like Japanese?"

  "No, I love it. Sounds good." Silence settled over the car. Izzy shifted her weight. Glanced out the window. Her tummy was back to its tumbling self. Sitting so close to Liam was making tingles shoot through her nerve endings.

  "Izzy?"

  "Yes?"

  He glanced at her. "Thank you for saying yes."

  She smiled. "Didn't give me much choice, did you? I have to give you kudos for creativity. And persistence."

  "I know I pushed but you came back into my life and I need to know some things."

  He needed closure. Of course. Maybe this wasn't about a big seduction game after all, and it was a simple way to let the memory of what could have been go. For both of them.

  She ignored the disappointment and nodded. "Of course. I understand."

  "Probably not. But you will."

  She ignored the odd warning, lapsing into a more comfortable silence as they made the short drive to the restaurant. He parked and escorted her out. Main Street was full of activity due to the mild weather in early fall. Couples strolled arm in arm, dogs trotted on leashes, and cafes were jammed with activity. The slightly crooked pavement and cheerful white lights strung on the lampposts gave Verily a unique character she'd grown to truly love. Somehow, someway, this had become her home.

  They passed a few art exhibits and the long line for the ice cream shop and bakery. She enjoyed the relaxed walk, the breeze tugging at her hair, the sound of club music drifting from Mugs, until they came to the Sushi House. Red paper lanterns, a fire pit, and bright lipstick-red doors welcomed them in.

  They were seated at their table in a quiet corner overlooking an elaborate fountain and a Japanese garden. Water trickled from a serene Buddha over smooth, fat rocks, and cherry blossoms interweaved between latticed walls, adding charm. The waitress appeared, dressed in a bright-pink kimono, greeted them, poured tea, and silently disappeared.

  "I love this already," she admitted. "Japan had always been on my bucket list but I never got there."

  "Me, too. The culture fascinates me. Shogun is my favorite book."

  She laughed. His answering smile filled her with a deep joy she didn't want to analyze. It was the last time they'd be together. Maybe she should relax and enjoy his presence.

  When the waitress asked for their drink order, she noticed Liam ordered a Coke. She ordered her usual cranberry and seltzer, then waited till they were alone again.

  "You can order alcohol," she said quietly. "It doesn't bother me at dinner. I try to avoid wild parties but can handle a simple meal."

  He considered her, steepling his elegant fingers together. "I ordered a Coke because that's what I wanted. I like to drink beer at the pool hall when I hang out with the guys from the station. Other than that, I'm not a big drinker. Never have been."

  His words rang with the truth. Liam wasn't a liar. It was reflected in his intense blue eyes, deliberate actions, and quiet core. He knew who he was and didn't need to apologize. She'd known that when they first met.

  "Okay."

  "Okay. But please let's not say that word to each other again. I refuse to be cast in a sappy John Green movie that makes chicks cry."

  Her lip twitched. "Hmm, so you saw The Fault in Our Stars, huh?"

  "Absolutely not. The line is always posted on Facebook."

  This time, the grin escaped. "I had no idea you had such a sense of humor."

  "I didn't get a chance to show you." The waitress took their appetizer and dinner orders, then drifted away. "Tell me how you came to be working at Kinnections."

  "I have a twin sister, Genevieve."

  "Wait!" He shook his head as if trying to clear it. "Genevieve. Of course. I'm such an idiot. The first time I laid eyes on your sister, I saw you. Told myself it was my crazy imagination but now it all makes sense. Your face is the same. It's the other stuff that threw me off."

  "Yes. When I turned eighteen, I hated how much we looked alike. It wasn't fun anymore; I wanted to be my own person. I dyed my hair, got my tats, some piercings, changed my wardrobe, and did everything possible to claim my own identity."

  "Sorry, I'm still reeling that I never put it together. Go on."

  "Gen worked at Kinnections when she left the hospital during a difficult time with her ex. I'd been on the outs with my family for years but had gone into rehab, done some work, and was getting stronger. We began repairing our relationship." A humorless laugh escaped her lips. "I hurt my sister terribly, but she welcomed me back without hesitation."

  "She loves you."

  The simple words struck home. "Yes. Gen is special. She belongs in the hospital helping others. Fortunately, she escaped the dickhead ex, moved in with Wolfe, who she'd always b
een in love with, and went back to surgery. Since Arilyn was living with Stone, the bungalow was free, and I was able to rent it. Eventually they had a spot open at Kinnections and hired me. It's only been a month but I'm very happy there. I may have found my niche."

  "A closet romantic?" he teased.

  "Maybe. Maybe I just like seeing the hope of a fresh start."

  A surge of energy caught her like a sucker punch. Fortunately, the waitress glided back with their sushi rolls and miso soup, giving her a chance to breathe. She directed the conversation back to neutral topics. "Tell me about the academy and how you began work in Verily."

  He used his chopsticks with expert ease as he popped a salmon roll into his mouth. Those long, tapered fingers moved with grace and purpose, reminding her of what they felt like on her bare skin. Strong teeth flashed, reminding her of how he'd bitten into the sensitive line where neck met shoulder. She remembered how much she liked it, that surprise sting she never saw coming.

  Izzy cleared her throat and concentrated on her soup.

  "The academy was a bitch, but I savored every moment. Learned a lot. Met some amazing guys who became good friends. I was assigned to Verily right from the start, and it was a good fit. Got myself a beautiful town and a nice house. I had a decent partner before Stone, but he wasn't as sharp or entertaining."

  "The two of you are close?"

  "Yeah. Not that we talk about it much, but I'd do anything for Stone. He came a long way and he's one of the best cops I've met."

  "I bet it's important to have a partner you trust. A special bond."

  "Yeah, especially since you spend more time than normal together. Kind of like a work marriage. A gay work marriage."

  She laughed. Forking up a salmon piece, she swirled it in the soy sauce and ate. His brow shot up. "Why aren't you using chopsticks?"

  "'Cause I suck at them. Like dancing. I have a problem with coordination."

  "Not in every activity."

  She shot him a suspicious look for the innuendo, but he looked innocent enough. Damn, he was whip smart. She relished the delicious banter and humming sexual tension. It had been so long since she'd felt so . . . alive. "What happened to your brother who attended college?"

  "Got married. I took a week off for vacation and stayed with Matt for a bit. He's disgustingly happy and working as an advertising executive."